Fear

Paralyzed and unable to move, think or act; beyond the adrenaline rushing through my veins intensifying my senses in order to survive, I sit motionless through our universe with every single drop of life drained because of this fear of everything. I've always wondered what lies deep under my layers of fears. Am I the hero or the villain? the savior or the executor? the angel or the demon?

Somehow, the greatness got lost between the lines, between the could have's and the would have's, and I keep going through this endless maze of agony and despair unable to face my pain, suffering... my failure.  Hell... not even my joy and success.

I thought I loved you, and I thought I had walked right along the abyss of our solitude to be close to you, so close we could rip each other's atoms with the gravity in our souls, but I never did. I stood there, frozen staring into the void dreaming about you and I instead of being you and I.

Will I fail if I try? will I sabotage my own success? I wish I could not only understand but feel real failure, real pain so I could get back on my feet, and realize that nothing is the end of our souls.